I’ve talked about the most obvious part of Lene’s disability - her wheelchair. Now I want to talk about something that isn’t obvious at all.

Being with Lene means being with her chronic pain. A combination of Rheumatoid Arthritis since she was a young child, the accumulated damage it has done to her body, various injuries, and fibromyalgia all contribute. Add aches and pains and the occasional migraine and it’s a painful mix. Pain is part of Lene’s life, and therefore part of mine as well. Let’s call it pain by proxy.

Being with someone who can be in a lot of pain is hard to deal with. I don’t want to ignore her pain or become numb to its presence. On the other hand watching my beloved hurt is hard. Granted it’s easier to be the observer than the one having the pain but it’s still hard. The grunts and groans, the sighs and intakes of breath, the careful movements and the cringing are something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy let alone on Lene.