When talking about Lene’s wheelchair I mentioned that most adults don’t react at all when they see it. Which is true - most people don’t think twice when they actually see Lene driving around in her chair.

That doesn’t mean people don’t react to the two of us in other ways. I had expected one reaction but it didn’t happen much at all. I didn’t even think of the odd reaction we get most often.

I’ve talked about the most obvious part of Lene’s disability - her wheelchair. Now I want to talk about something that isn’t obvious at all.

Being with Lene means being with her chronic pain. A combination of Rheumatoid Arthritis since she was a young child, the accumulated damage it has done to her body, various injuries, and fibromyalgia all contribute. Add aches and pains and the occasional migraine and it’s a painful mix. Pain is part of Lene’s life, and therefore part of mine as well. Let’s call it pain by proxy.

Being with someone who can be in a lot of pain is hard to deal with. I don’t want to ignore her pain or become numb to its presence. On the other hand watching my beloved hurt is hard. Granted it’s easier to be the observer than the one having the pain but it’s still hard. The grunts and groans, the sighs and intakes of breath, the careful movements and the cringing are something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy let alone on Lene.

In the past I tended not to talk or write too much about my private life. It’s just that - private. Since being with Lene I’ve become a bit more open. Giving people a peek into our overlapping lives.

Lene, in case you didn’t know, is disabled. When people find out my partner has a disability they want to know more.

In a previous post on how I became interested in photography I mentioned that I already had a camera before I met Lene. A crappy little point and shoot. The pictures were a bit soft and the autofocus wasn’t the greatest - but it worked. This was before phones had decent cameras and before I even thought about spending a lot of money on a camera like a DSLR. I needed a digital camera so I bought one.

Before I bought it I tried to do my research. I’m one of those people who overthink some of my purchases. I’ll check reviews, look at alternatives, read up on the subject, and do as much research as I can. This can help me decide exactly which thing I want to buy. This can also push me into completely different products or thingies that I didn’t originally know about or intend to buy. This can also, thankfully, lead me to the point where I don’t decide to buy anything at all. For the moment.

For more than a decade now I’ve been lucky enough to share my life with Lene Andersen. For those who follow Lene at The Seated View I’m often referred to as “The Boy” in her posts. That’s “The Boy” - two words with a capital “T” and a capital “B”.

If you don’t follow Lene - she’s a writer, an advocate, and a remarkable photographer. I do mean remarkable. She can capture something’s essence in her pictures. She has an eye for the beauty of the natural world and the ability to see things that others don’t. Her pictures can make you feel longing for the holidays or they can simply document the unexplainable oddities she encounters. If she has a signature picture it’s Mystic. A print of which is hanging above my desk.